Chapter One: California
My last post was kinda cut short. There were still a lot of things that were up in the air, things I didn’t really want to open up about. I only told some of my closest friends about my plan to move to California. Everyone’s first question was “Why?” — what they really meant was “Why would I move away from all my loved ones? Why would I quit my job? Why would I start all over again?” — It was always so difficult to answer those questions. My response was always “Why not?” I never told anyone details but my real why was — I wanted something new. I wanted a new chapter. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love Utah with my whole entire heart but it was time for a change. My whole life I’ve wanted to live close to the beach. It never matters what part of the world I’m seeing — I always gravitate back to the ocean.
Some of my best memories have been near the ocean- I’ll share a few.
Santorini with the girls — It feels like it was just yesterday. We layed out on the beach, praying that the clouds would go away so we could soak up the sun after the hardest winter of our lives together in Ukraine. Santorini is on so many bucket lists and I get to experience this by the young age of 21?
Hawaii for Victor’s 26th birthday — This vacation was one of my favorite vacations of my entire life (other than I kind of wrecked the rental car and cried about it for hours) (then laughed about it for twice the amount of time) The song Calma by Pedro Capo and Faruko immediately take me back to those days. The entire vacation was heavenly- the last day of this vacation was something I don’t think I’ll ever experience again. It was one of those one in a million moments. We decided to spend the entire day at the beach. We had this moment as the sun started going down. It felt like it was staight out of a movie and we were the main characters. No one else mattered. The most beautiful sunset full of pinks, blues, oraganges and purples. They lit up the sky and reflected off the water. My arms were wrapped around his neck, his hands around me, taking that moment in. We swam in the ocean together, the palm trees swaying the background and I think we were both envisioning our future together — would we stay together as he was about to leave for the Navy or would we live out the next chapter of our lives apart? The two years we spent together were some of the most pivotal years of my life.
San Diego with Dare. Darian and I have always had this connection since we were in middle school. Her and I are the type of friends that no matter how much time goes by between the time we speak, we continue to be those friends that would do anything for one another. We just click so when she said “Lets go to San Diego for 4th of July” I was one thousand percent in. We had the best girls trip — ended up inviting bethy and meg and just had the time of our lives. I experienced my favorite sunset of my entire life. We pulled over, ran to the beach, took some pictures and soaked this moment in. This is a trip I’ll remember when I’m 80.
Barcelona, Espana — My first solo trip. Spain was always such a dream. I’ve always wanted to live here. Maybe one day I will. I decided to fly into Barca over Madrid for the sole reason that its near the ocean. My first day here, I dropped my luggage off and left to explore the city. I have a weird obsession with metros as well- they make me feel like I’m a local. I found a metro station, transfered a few lines and found myself near the ocean once again. This was a full circule moment in my life. The day before my 24th birthday. My only wish that year was to come back to Spain again.
All of these moments above and even some that I want to hold onto for myself, have one thing in common. I find myself constantly sharing stories about trips on dates with my friends, constantly going through my ‘favorite” in my camera roll, talking about my five year plan, and even on my feed on Tumblr- they all have one thing in common. The ocean. I gravitate toward the ocean, always. I’ve always wanted to live closer. So I finally did it. I packed everything I considered essential into my new lil Mazda and took off. I thought I’d be absolutely heartbroken. I thought I’d absolutely sob when saying goodbye to my friends and family. I thought leaving was going to be the hardest thing I’d ever have to do. I was so wrong.
“It is so hard to leave — until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world.”
― John Green, Paper Town
I remember reading all of John Green’s books when I was in High School. I came a crossed this quote on Tik Tok a few weeks ago and it was a full circle moment for me. Moving to California is the start of something new. What lies ahead is something I stilll need to figure out but I’m so excited to see this chapter unfold and blog about all the new and exciting things that happen between. Its never to late to follow your dreams.
If one day you wake up wanting to quit your job, move to another city/state/country and dump your current situation, DO IT.
Here are a few more pictures of some of my favorites memories that I’ll cherish for the rest of my life. These people below have been important characters in my story. Whether they’re in my life or not anymore, thank you for all the memories at the most special place in the world to me — the ocean.
Left to Right — Jesus and I at Cannon Beach, Oregon. Shay and I at Nice, France. Bree and I at Point Dume, California. Vic and I in Florida. Brooke, Brea and I at Cannon Beach.